Doctor Advises her Female Students to give in to Sexual Harassment

Gabrielle McMullin is a surgeon based in Sydney, Australia. She has created waves, big-time by telling her female students to give in to sexual harrassment, rather than reporting it. Because reporting it would do untold damage to their careers.

I am delighted to hear this. It is such a clever strategy – not the proposed action, but the statement. It is shocking. I heard about it today when a male pundit on Irish radio was complaining bitterly about how damaging and disrespectful the statement was to all the work done for feminism and equality. He simply proved McMullin’s point.

How could anyone think that submitting to sexual harassment is the right thing to do?

But the reality is that many professions are controlled by men’s groups (the fact is there are still very few women at the top tables) who will not welcome criticism of one of their own, and who may find it easy to assume the complainant is a trouble maker – one to be avoided at all cost.

So if a student of McMullin’s comes to her and reports sexual harassment in the workplace, what should she advise the student: go and tell the authorities or “go with it”? It takes years of study and sacrifice to become a doctor – the student and the mentor have arrived at the rock and the hard place. McMullin clearly feels that “giving in” is the lesser of two evils.

Put another way, if you were leaving your local sports centre and found your neighbourhood thug in the process of stealing your car – would you walk up and say – “please don’t take my car” or would you take a step back and wait for it to happen? – It’s not black and white.

So this is where we are with feminism, and equality in the professional classes. McMullin could do one of three things:

1. Advise the student to complain
2. Advise the student to give-in
3. Or tell the world that the best outcome for the student is to complain.

McMullin is a smart lady. If she had chosen option 1 or 2, would we be talking about her here on the far side of the world?

My working life has been based in hospitals, I have heard comments about young eager female students from one surgeon. I cannot say that this sexism is everywhere in the medical profession, but I believe McMullin speaks from a position of some knowledge.

McMullin has just launched her book Pathways to Gender Equality – The Role of Merit and Quotas, which she co-authored. I think the gentleman pundit on Irish radio has a little to learn about irony, and perhaps he should think about the reasoning behind the statement rather than shooting the messenger.

For more on this see:

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-03-07/sexual-harassment-rife-in-medical-profession-surgeon-says/6287994

Who’s Calendar? – Borrowed words from Sandi Toksvig

The paragraph below was published in The Guardian on Wed 28th October, 2009.  It’s all about perception:

“When I was a student at Cambridge I remember an anthropology professor holding up a picture of a bone with 28 incisions carved in it. “This is often considered to be man’s first attempt at a calendar” she explained. She paused as we dutifully wrote this down. ‘My question to you is this – what man needs to mark 28 days? I would suggest to you that this is woman’s first attempt at a calendar.’

– Sandi Toksvig

Who will mind the children?

Picture from “Guess How Much I Love You” by Sam McBratney and Anita Jeram

The Childcare Dilemma

This is not so much of an issue for me any more because my children are big enough now to mind themselves, but like many women, I struggled with the work and childcare dilemma. But I did my share of struggling with this dilemma on a daily basis.

I find that a lot of writing on this subject is about justifying the choices the writer has made. There is definitely no right answer to the childcare dilemma. Women have a right to a career, many men have become the full-time carers for their children, you cannot subtract women from the equation of the pool of available leaders, managers and politicians, children need their parents, families need to be as financially stable as possible…. The list of emotive debating points goes on.

Lean In

I have just read Sheryl Sandberg’s book, “Lean In”. In the Irish language “Lean” means follow, and my children said that every time they saw the book they thought of it as saying “Follow In”. Sheryl is Chief Operating Officer at Facebook, a very big job, and she is ultra-conscious of balancing motherhood and work, of acknowledging but challenging the reality that the world does not treat men and women equally. She talks about the ways you can stand up for yourself and not be afraid to commit to making time for your family. Not many of us will be following Sheryl to a role of the pressure and influence of COO at Facebook, but there are several worthy themes underlying her writing including: women must support women and there needs to be a lot more women in senior roles. Regarding the childcare dilemma, Sandberg, writes about how you can manipulate your life for a family-work balance but in her writing, there is a presumption that the options are: to keep working throughout your children’s early life or to give up on your career.

This is one of the off-putting themes of these debates: that the options are to work or to quit.

It is as though there is only one correct model for the mother’s work/childcare choices. This is not the case. Students in college today are being told that the concept of a job for life is no longer a possibility. So the old models are not relevant any more. I believe that being a mother, no matter what decisions you make about work will interrupt your career, whether you may keep working full-time, work part-time, give up your career forever, or give it up for the intense years and then return.

It takes a while to get some confidence as a mother. It is easy to be intimidated by other mummies who seem to have figured everything out from being ethically correct, to being politically correct and whose children only eat the healthiest of food.

Motherhood doesn’t come easy but it comes and it’s wonderful. You figure it all out for yourself at your own pace. It is a great feeling when you go out with your little baby into the world and you realise that you are still part of the world, that coffee shops like to have mummies and babies as customers, that slings can make a short trip to town with a small baby very easy, that shopping centres have feeding rooms, that the world is a place where you and your baby can be friends.

Just when you have all that figured out you find you have to make tough decisions about work and life.

 “The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.  She never existed before.  The woman existed, but the mother, never.  A mother is something absolutely new.”  ~Rajneesh

Money

For some women, childcare is so expensive they can’t afford to go to work,for others, life is so expensive they can’t afford not to work.

Our mothers as role models

Others are still under the influence of our mothers as role models.  At a conference on this subject several yeas ago I realised that for some women, they despise the role of their mother, as a stay-at-home mother who was essentially a door-mat and promise themselves never to be a stay-at-home mother; I know that for other women they want to emulate their mother by being the one at home with young children.

All women become like their mothers.  That is their tragedy.  No man does.  That’s his.  ~Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest, 1895

Inescapable dilemmas

It is a sad fact that for most pregnant women, the pregnancy is tarnished by wrestling with the dilemmas of possible childcare solutions even before the poor baby enters the world.

“Mankind owes to the child the best that it has to give….”,  1924 Declaration of the Rights of the Child.

Worry and Guilt

My mother helpfully pointed out to me on one of my endless daily phonecalls during my daughter’s first few months that as a mother I would worry about my child from the day she opened her eyes until the day I closed mine.

Worrying about who will mind our children is an inescapable fact of life. We want to give our children so much, but life makes so many demands on us, that it is hard for us to make the right choices for ourselves and our children. Most of the women around us are working parents. We say to ourselves, if they can keep working, of course we can too. The practicalities of enrolling at creches or finding childminders can be a terrible strain on the earliest days of the parent-child bond. So many factors influence our choices.   It is about so much more than money, it is about feeling valued, about not wasting what we have invested in our careers. It is about capitalising on our decisions, it is about doing the right thing.

Worry about making the right childcare decisions and guilt, almost regardless of what we do is pervasive, and it is entirely damaging and self-defeating.  We can ask no more of ourselves than to do out best.

When it all goes wrong

One of the problems with all aspects of parenting is that you never know if you got it right or not – no exam, no grade, no jury – we judge ourselves but the verdict wont be in for a long time.

But some things are simply out of your control.  I thought I had a relatively good part-time childcare solution until I came home one day to find the lady who was caring for my children blind drunk, the fire on with no fireguard, and two very young children trying to feed themselves by having a picnic among shards of a broken wine glass.  That changed my next childcare decision.

The answer to the question of “Who will mind the children?” rests with the parents. If they are lucky, they will have choice of whether to work full-time, reduced hours or not at all. The decision made will be influenced by many factors, including:

• The impact of your decision on family income;
• Your childcare options;
• Your relationship with your job or career;
• What you want to do;
• What you can do;
• What is the right thing to do?

The published expertise in books, newspapers, the internet and academic publications tends to be contradictory. Some say that it is better for the child to be cared for at home by the child’s parent, others say that it makes no difference. So you have to make up your own mind about what is the best thing for you and your family.

Light at the end of the tunnel

I am glad to say though, that in the last year, five friends of mine who are in their mid to late forties and who had stepped back from work while their children were young, have all got new jobs which they love and they seem to be progressing along the ranks at meteoric speed.

 So my final words are: guilt is the enemy, there is no right answer to the childcare debate, and stepping back from work when your children are small does not mean your career is over.

Guest Post: #WhyWeStillNeedFeminism

#WeStillNeedFeminism

by Caitlín Cooney

I am a feminist.

That does not mean that I hate men and am blaming men for everything that is wrong in the world. I love the lads and I often lament the fact that I am attend an all-girls school. However, I believe that if, for example, the Kilkenny’s men team returning home with their huge cup receives more media coverage than the actual ladies football final that there is a lack of equality and the fault does not lie with men or women but on society as a whole.

In that same final the organisers changed the side of the pitch from which the teams ran on to the pitch. Why? Because Croke Park could only fill one stand that day, and how much would your confidence be shaken if you ran out to play one of the biggest matches of your life only to find that hardly anyone had shown up to cheer you on. I’d say a fair bit.

The attendance at the men’s final dwarfed the ladies final by a massive difference of 82179 to 27374 people respectively. And the sad thing is, until someone pointed this out to me I didn’t even realise there was anything amiss here. And therein lies the problem.

Do you know the saying about boiling a frog? If you put a frog in a pot of boiling water it will jump straight out. But if you put the frog in a pot of cool or tepid water, and then turn up the heat, the frog wont realise what is happening until it is too late.

WE ARE ALL FROGS!

And I am not just talking about football. Why did JK Rowling deliberately obscure her gender in her penname? Why are there so few women in politics? Why in God’s name is it considered “shameful” by so many to say the words “I am a feminist” with pride.

I think we need to have a better understanding of feminism, to see that it is a good thing that will help the entire world to move forward. Feminism got women education and the vote, things we now take for granted, but without them where would we be?

So I think its high time we all started becoming aware of inequalities that we normally wouldn’t even notice and begin moving towards an equal world for everybody regardless of gender, sexual orientation, ethinicity, religion or their favourite food!

Are you a Wifey?

I can’t believe this! I cant believe that there isn’t at least a bit of a fuss about it.

In Ireland, right now (February, 2015), the Government is going about making sure everyone has their own PPS number (that’s equivalent to your National Insurance or Social Security number).  Why does everyone not already have their own number?

Well, its very simple, lots of the ladies, just being appendages of their husbands, were just given their husbands PPS number with a “w” appended.  Now I am not sure what the “w” stands for: woman, wife, wifey, witch, but there’s a fair chance it was “wifey”.

Why wasn’t there a bit of a furore about this?  There still isn’t any fuss.  I have my own thoughts, but I wont share them.

The piece below is directly from the Irish Revenue web-site http://www.revenue.ie

If you have a ‘W’ format Personal Public Service number (PPSN) and you cannot access your LPT record online using this number, you should contact the LPT helpline on 1890 200 255 to confirm whether the issue is caused by your ‘W’ format PPSN. If this is the case, you will be advised to request a new PPSN from the Client Identity Services in the Department of Social Protection (DSP). It should be noted that this issue will generally only arise in cases where the ‘W’ format PPSN was never previously used for tax purposes or where there has been a change in life circumstances such as separation or death of a spouse.

Historically, on marriage, a wife assumed her husband’s tax reference number with the letter ‘W’ appended (for example, if a husband’s tax number was 1234567A, his wife would have been assigned 1234567AW on their marriage). This practice stopped in the 1990s. However, existing ‘W’ numbers in use at that time continue to be used until such time as there is a need to change them or if the person chooses to change it.

A new PPSN can be requested from the Client Identity Services (DSP).

A New Way of Doing Business

Muhammed Yunus –
Received his Honorary Doctorate from DCU, Ireland, on 18th October, 2014
-I was fortunate to be present

Dr Martin McAleese, Chancellor of Dublin City University (DCU) presented the ethos of Professor Yunus as a man who truly believes in the rights of the individual as stated in the UN Charter of Human Rights, as a man who does not promote charity but promotes the concept of a chance for those living in poverty to escape the shackles of poverty put on them by society.

Dr McAleese said that Yunus looks for more than charity can give:

• acceptance that each person is very important, that each person has potential and that he or she can have influence;
• acknowledgement that everyone has unlimited potential which often lies dormant;
• acknowledgement that if we harness all the unrealised potential of people- we could do so much;
• acceptance that things are never as complicated as we make them, it is our arrogance about our own sophistication that pushes us to complicate issues unnecessarily.

A Champion of Solutions and Simplicity

Professor Yunus became a champion of solutions and simplicity, of the need to challenge our default position of complacency, and of our need to recalibrate our conscience.

Professor Yunus was described as a creative destructor of equilibrium.

He had brought hope to the disenfranchised poor of Bangladesh.

He has a BA and MBA in economics and had received a Fullbright scholarship to study in the United States where he established a Bangladesh Information Centre and worked to highlight the plight of people in Bangladesh.

He was later lecturing in the University of Chitagon in Bangladesh and he brought his students on field trips to a nearby village where he was haunted by the poverty.

In 1976, a lady who was a skilled weaver told him her story: that she was being charged an interest rate of 14000% on a loan equivalent to 22cents by a moneylender who would buy stools from her at a price which he decided and so she was in the ultimate poverty trap.

This inspired Professor Yunus to invite his students to become volunteer bankers, starting with a stake of $20 and lending 40 women 50 cents each. This has blossomed into the Grameen (or Village) Bank which now has a turnover of $9bn.

Parallels with Jonathan Swift

At the ceremony in DCU, Dr Ní Bhradaigh took the opportunity to draw parallels with Dean Jonathan Swift who developed a system of Microloans in Dublin in the early 1700s.

Yunus believes that there is no village without an entrepreneur.

Professor Yunus, identified the concept of socio-economic building blocks of 5 women who were friends but who were not related. He valued the concept of social capital and efficacy, he understood the value of development from below. Almost 100% of the Grameen bank loans are to women and there is almost 100% repayments.

Professor Yunus identified that loans to women lead to more benefits to families and through that, more benefits to society. He put a value on mentoring and training, and developed the concept of “Sixteen Decisions”.

He has inspired spin-off companies, he is a true social entrepreneur who won the Nobel prize for Peace in 2006.

Instinct and Initiative

Professor Yunus said that what he had done, he had done on instinct and initiative, not as a researcher or an academic. That this was a work of desperation, he knew that something had to be done.

He had found himself teaching in a class which was disconnected from the people outside the walls of the classroom. The classroom felt like “make-believe” and as a teacher, he had a sense of uselessness.. So he crossed the border from the university into the village.

Professor Yunus said he “wanted to see if I could make myself useful, even for one day…”.

Unconsciously establishing a bank

So the little things that he could do to help started to become clear. He began to lend money from his own pocket, this idea became a sensation and it was very encouraging but more people wanted to borrow and the money was running out. So he tried to get the banks involved but it took three months to be successful in this. But the banks were not making enough money due to the paybacks, so the project started to fail, so Yunus started his own bank. It took seven years but now it is all over Bangladesh and has even got branches in New York, LA and San Francisco.

When he reflects on how he started a bank, he says, he looked at how conventional banks did it and he did the opposite: he loaned money to poor women, not rich men; he was based in the village and not the city, he brought the bank to the people, not the people to the bank; the bank is owned by the borrowers, there is no collateral, no legal papers, no lawyers.

He notes that poverty is not created by the people but by the system. Poor people are like a bonsai tree, they have not been given room to grow, to be entrepreneurs.

He said people are born entrepreneurs, but we are in a society where the drive is to find a job. But humans are job creators not job seekers.

Yunus believes that conventional entrepreneurship is limited to the goal of making money, it becomes a job slot focussed on making money. We need to go beyond this, we need social business focussed on solving problems.

A very strong theme running through the speeches about and from Professor Yunus is that the issue for society is not about charity but about freedom of opportunity.

“Sixteen Decisions”

The list below shows the “Sixteen Decisions” which is recited and agreed to by borrowers at all branches of the Grameen bank:

• We shall follow and advance the four principles of Grameen Bank: Discipline, Unity, Courage and Hard work – in all walks of our lives.Prosperity we shall bring to our families.
• We shall not live in dilapidated houses. We shall repair our houses and work towards constructing new houses at the earliest.
• We shall grow vegetables all the year round. We shall eat plenty of them and sell the surplus.
• During the planting seasons, we shall plant as many seedlings as possible.
• We shall plan to keep our families small. We shall minimize our expenditures.
• We shall look after our health.
• We shall educate our children and ensure that they can earn to pay for their education.
• We shall always keep our children and the environment clean.
• We shall build and use pit-latrines.
• We shall drink water from tube wells. If it is not available, we shall boil water or use alum.
• We shall not take any dowry at our sons’ weddings, neither shall we give any dowry at our daughters’ weddings. We shall keep our centre free from the curse of dowry. We shall not practice child marriage.
• We shall not inflict any injustice on anyone, neither shall we allow anyone to do so.
• We shall collectively undertake bigger investments for higher incomes.
• We shall always be ready to help each other. If anyone is in difficulty, we shall all help him or her.
• If we come to know of any breach of discipline in any centre, we shall all go there and help restore discipline.
• We shall take part in all social activities collectively.

These sixteen principles, with cultural adaptation could provide such a strong foundation in our own society. More interestingly, though, these are not presented as principles but as “decisions”, and arguably, that is where their power lies.

“Make myself useful even for one day”

Yunus’s idea of just wanting to make himself useful even for one day is an excellent starting point for reform. For those of us who aspire to be part of social reform and healthcare reform perhaps we need to adjust our thinking to “making myself useful, even for just one day…”

“Haves and Have-nots”

Professor Yunus said there is no need for poverty, however after just a few weeks studying for a masters in business, I am more aware than ever that, business is about differentiating the haves and have-nots. I believe, sadly, that the haves will always have a need to ensure there are “have-nots”.  But Muhammad Yunus’s ideas have thrived and he has brought hope to thousands who were hopeless.  Sometimes dreams triumph over reality.